Blood is thicker than...

The old saying goes "Blood is thicker than water..." meaning that familial ties, blood ties, are stronger than any other. Lately I have had occasion to think about what family means, who my family includes. I must say that I was blessed with a tremendous "blood" family. All sides carrying strong ties to my faith, possessing a great many and varied talents, and a strong work ethic. I am grateful to my family for passing these traits on to me, and instilling in me the learned behaviors that have blessed my life. I recognize the great contributions made by my biological family and the sacrifices made on my behalf, great and small.

That said, I have an extended family that is not necessarily biologically mine. Through marriage I became part of another large family steeped in wonderful traditions, built on good works and hard working. I didn't really take into consideration the blessings I would reap when joining this family, in actuality I was just happy to be getting an incredible wife (beautiful, intelligent, spiritual, wise, unbendably strong convictions). It was a bonus that I seemed to get along with those of my in laws that I had met, and truly like them as well.

Considering that Eliza and I met on a blind date, it was pretty miraculous that her family enjoys so many of the things that I do. It was a very good sign that on the first real time meeting the family Eliza's dad Lo grilled up some very tasty steaks. How did he know that I was a steak lover? Come to think of it, I think this may have been the first time in my life I ate a salad, but that is an aside. That night I played the basketball game "poison" with Eliza and several of her little sisters and a brother. I felt as if I belonged, even though I was so far out of my element surrounded by a big family. Along with the steak I found out that Lo was a conservative ( a huge plus in the book of the only guy I know that listened to Rush Limbaugh daily as a 15 year old), that at the time he was in the farming/sales industry ( I grew up on a farm, and was in sales), and he biked (as in bicycle, of which I like the mountain variety, although I'm not against leg shaving). Lo has always been to me an example of what a father should be: steadfast in the gospel, true to family and friends, a deeply devoted husband, and faithful father. As a cocky kid (which I think all 21 year olds just off the mission are) I caused Lo some consternation a few times, but he has always treated me so kindly. In fact I feel as though he has always treated me like one of his own sons. I don't know that a father in law could have a much higher compliment. Coming from a guy who has a dad and a step dad who I have grown up with, I am probably as close with my father in law as with either of my two dads (no offense intended fellas) and would proudly call Lo "dad".

So much has been made of the "evil" mother in law. Countless jokes and complaints, even movies and television shows based solely on this idea. Personally I don't get it. I never have. From day one my "mom" in law Kathleen has taken me in and taken me under her wing like one of her own little chicks. I have always liked Kathleen, I see so much of her in Eliza so what's not to like? Kathleen has always struck me as a supermom, without trying to appear to be a supermom. Like my own mother she has a soft spot for people and would quickly stand up for someone down on their luck but trying to what's right. Like my own mom she was on her high school's spirit squad (or whatever they were called, for my mom I think it was the "peppers"). I can see Eliza's drive and determination in her mom. I can see Eliza's intense love and desire for her children's well being in Kathleen. I can see the beauty and grace with which Eliza carries herself in Kathleen. My mom in law is the epitome of class, with the ability to make a joke (even very mildly off color) without coming across as phony. I love Kathleen as if she were my own mother and in some real ways she is.

Now, more than ever, as Kathleen is battling through a very serious health problem with her tumor and subsequent surgical complications I have come to truly appreciate my family. I have really felt that my extended family is just that... family. As Eliza and I were sealed together in the temple in front of friends and family the sealing power of the priesthood made me a very real link in her family chain and my spiritual family is every bit as real to me as my "blood" family. If all goes well I will be with them all together, forever.