Tuesday, August 17, 2010

On Driving, or, Thoughts From The Road

Well really they are my thoughts not the roads, I did converse with the road but mostly it was quiet and contemplative which is okay because sometimes I just need someone to listen. So back to the story at hand. In an effort to bring on a nervous breakdown, or at least put a lot of miles on my poor behind I drove to Idaho and back over a three day period. According to mapquest that is 909 miles each way or 1818 miles in total, i thought that was cool. Anyhow I had a notebook along with me for lists etc... so I could remember what I needed to get done... and I jotted down a few things a long the way. Without further adieu here they are:

Northern Arizona and Southern Utah are incredibly beautiful.

Euro dudes in manpris and sandals with brown socks are about as hot as 50+ year old chicks wearing booty shorts.

There must be a psychological trigger in slow drivers that causes them to speed up in passing zones/lanes.

Driving with the runs is crappy, no really.

In what I presume is an effort to discourage sex in public restrooms in Utah, they make the restroom stall walls low enough that an oompa loompa can watch you poop.

Try to avoid family reunions/camping in the forest during a forest fire.

Who would've thought that a organic grocery store/cafe called Laid Back Larry's would fail to thrive in Kanab, Utah?

Avoid hotel buffets that offer "all you can catch crabs".

Riding a motorcycle is not a crime, failing to signal while sliding into my lane in front of me and my loaded trailer while going about 20 MPH slower than me is, and its dumb.

Summer dresses are always okay, except when they're not.

Watching a creepy dude walking up and down the parking lot of a rest stop at 2AM looking into sleeping people's car windows was a little unsettling...

Morale to this whole story? Never ever ever sleep at a rest stop, I don't even think I will pee at one again...