Monday, January 5, 2009

I AM SASQUATCH

I love facial hair, mostly because I have REALLY sensitive skin and I hate to shave because I get razor burn and rashes and ingrown hair etc... This is why I usually have some form of facial hair. I also have ADHD which I blame for my ever changing facial hair. But for a while now I have stuck with the full on beard and I love it. This is the longest I've ever grown a beard and it is by far the thickest I have ever had. I've been growing since sometime in early November and have trimmed it down twice so far. Besides boosting the testosterone of any room I walk into it has a practical purpose: keeping my cheeks warm. As you can see in the frosty bearded picture below it is providing much needed protection.


This was an unbelievably cold day, like 12 degrees, but I was nice and toasty! Okay so I was still cold, but not as cold as I could have been I'm sure!

Some of my favorite characters have had beards like:

Jeremiah Johnson





Or Grizzly Adams:



even Mugatu has a nice goat:




even chicks get in on the action:



Honestly what's not to love?

I know that some of the ladies complain that a man's facial hair can itch. Come on now think of it as nature's exfoliator and relish that you don't have to give yourself a facial. Some women don't like kissing a man with a beard because it "tickles". Isn't that really kind of a bonus? I mean really ladies, sit back, relax, and enjoy.


Now men my Grandpa Grover, a famous connoisseur of facial hair himself, taught me a valuable life lesson: There is a difference between growing a beard and not shaving. Men don't fall into that trap. You really don't want your beard to say "I'm a wino," unless of course you, are then have at it! Another thing, you don't want to be rocking that peach fuzz. It doesn't count if a cat could lick it off with a little milk. And finally, if you look like a tree with half of the leaves blown off maybe give up and go for a porn stache:

Who isn't feeling that?

7 comments:

Michelle said...

Oh man Dan and I were laughing at this one. We died at Mugatu and also the girl with a beard. Dan told me this is exactly why he wants to grow a beard. So after this I said it would be ok if he wanted to. He has a red beard so I just thought it would look funny with his blond hair. But if it makes him feel more manly I think I would be cool with it.

Eliza said...

I really don't mind your beard, maybe I'm just used to it. I like that you mix up your facial hair, it keeps life interesting. But please stay away from that porn stache. I wouldn't want you to give anyone the wrong impression.

Tara said...

Oh. My. Gosh. You really have outdone yourself on this one. You do know Wes will agree this is how you determine if a boy is a man. The best compliment you could ever give him is that he's got a thick beard.

Logan said...

Man, I'm jealous. I haven't been allowed to grow a beard for the last 6 years (mission and school rules), and I couldn't before that even if I had wanted to. Now that I'm free to grow facial hair for the first time in my life, I still can't make it look good. It just looks like I'm too lazy to shave, and it doesn't fill in everywhere. Maybe someday.

mandi said...

Thank you for the comment. I didn't know you ever visited me. Thanks for the compliments,people often give me a hard time about the name Rocco,most don't like it and to tell you the truth I had a hard time with his name till he was about 6 months old.It sounded so rough for such a tiny baby. And Presley often gets mistaken for a boy ,by just reading it and then they see her and the big bows give it away. I didn't know you had your own blog,I will be stopping by often

Kindra said...

Sadly I would be the peach fuzz getting licked off by the cat.

Vaughn

Kindra wants you to know that she thinks your blog is hilarious...

Grannie Wright said...

Hummmm.I find your beards really interesting. When my dad grew beards, he just sprouted unless he could talk my mom into trimming them for him. But I definitely like the Jeremiah Johnson type. From a practical viewpoint, in Idaho they are a must. Maybe that's why some women in the north country don't shave they're legs....